(By guest blogger and bestselling co-author, Sam [he/him])
Every Dom needs his or her own personal "red room of pain" so to speak. No dungeon is complete without the appropriate tools. In this segment I will be giving you the very bare bones of what you should have to be able to completely dominate your partner.
The "Must haves" if you will.
If you are into bondage something to bind your sub or subs (why limit yourself) is imperative. In a pinch you can always use common items that might be just sitting around the house such as ties, a belt from a robe, an actual belt is great, fuck an electrical cord would even do (although it might hurt).
If you are going to be a real Dom you should have the right tools for the job.
I personally am a velcro wrist and ankle restraint man as they allow me to quickly bind and restrain my partner and can easily be removed to then move her into a different position. They usually come with tethers which can then be attached to different objects. Tying your partner up has gotten more common and accepted since 50 Shades of Grey. Even vanillas are getting into the game usually tying their partners to their bed in some fashion. But we aren't vanilla and while that is fun I personally like tying my subs to a variety of objects and in a variety of ways.
My first "BDSM purchase" if you will was a generic massage table (I still haven't given a massage although I have received many). Not only is it perfect to strap your sub down to in a variety of ways, but at least for me it is the perfect cock to pussy height and I love to fuck standing up. You can tie your partners’ hands above their head and their feet down. You can also bend them over with their hands outstretched and fastened to the far end with her ankles tied to the legs of the table.
Some of my favorite ways to restrain my subs don’t involve tying her to anything. As I love to face fuck simply restraining her hands behind her back is an all-time favorite.
If your sub is wearing a collar I love to restrain her hands in front of her and then make her lift them up over her head and place her hands behind her head and then attach the Velcro cuffs to her collar locking her hands behind her head. Talk about free to use her mouth anyway you see fit.
I love to tie my subs wrists to their corresponding ankles with her on her back which is great on the massage table. Or you can do the same with her face down and on her knees. And of course there is hog tying which I quite enjoy where you tie your partners’ hands behind their back and then lay them on their stomachs and attached their ankles to their wrists causing them to be completely immobile and vulnerable to your every whim.
I would also suggest installing a weight barring hook in a stud in your ceiling which has countless uses. From tying your subs hands above her head to attaching a sex swing - you won't regret it. Just tell your parents and friends you took up boxing and use a heavy bag of anyone asks (because they will). I personally love when I bring someone home and they look up and are like, "What is that for?" And I get to give them my devilish look.
Now that you can tie your sub up properly you need something good to punish her with. There are countless items from floggers, to paddles, to crops, to dragon tongues, but this is just about the basics so
I would suggest just getting a basic little paddle to start.
If you don't want to leave the house of course your hand will always do. Spatulas work great. The back of brushes were made to spank tooshies. The bottom of a sandal even works in a pinch.
Now I am an assman like most men. And since your sub will most likely be on her hands and knees quite a bit with her ass in the air why waste her best hole. So I suggest getting a small to medium butt plug to start.
Another ESSENTIAL toy every dom should have is a collar and leash. There isn’t anything hotter than taking your sub from behind while giving her a nice tug. Or controlling her on her knees with it as she sucks your cock.
Lastly every dungeon must come with a solid supply of lube. And it isn't the 20th century anymore so lotion will not do. Silicone lubricants work wonderfully and if you aren't using condoms (because this degrades them) and you don't mind destroying your sheets I personally am in love with coconut oil.
That should get you started on your way to be a successful Dom.
Links for all the toys: